Lindsey (imafanson) wrote,
Lindsey
imafanson

Oh boy.

So update time. Well, Collin is completely out of the picture. He emailed me twice since the coffee meeting and his excuse for not emailing so soon was because he computer crashed at home and he's been working a lot. He then proceeded to tell me that one job he picked up was because one of his coworker has herpies (the ones with the sores on the lips) and he had to play tuba for him. And he actually told me "the ones with the sores" part and I'm like, unecessary! So no Collin which is fine, I wasn't attracted to him physically.

Then James...26. Apparently the night I'm so about to hookup with him for real, he tells Mykah's boyfriend something horrible that makes the boyfriend want to break up with Mykah and Mykah angry at James forever, so I will never see him again and no sex was had that night.

James, the one who's a sexual freak, we're still talking. I don't know why really but I like him. Maybe I'm just crazy but whatever, we'll see how it goes. He's the only one that actually wants a sexual and emotional relationship. Like, yes he wants my sweet goods, but he also wants to be my friend too and I like that.

I also broke down and posted another craigs list ad, this one with less attention. But I somehow hooked this 19 year old who is the cutest cool/dork you've ever seen. He's got that artsy cool yet dorky thing going on. It's awesome, but he just wants to hook up which is the only I can do with a 19 yr old. I couldn't actually date the child, but I'm not really into do that. So I don't know how to tell him. Maybe he'll just fade away and I won't have to.

Then Gavin. Saw DeGraw on Tuesday with my sister, bro and sister in law. He was amazing as always but how about as I'm leaving the front of the venue because I was overheating and couldn't take it anymore I see Andrew. Does everyone remember Andrew? Yeah, I don't know why I didn't think there was a possiblity he'd be there, but it completely threw me off guard. He was there with his brother and sister who is sadly now in a wheelchair. So I said hi to him and then talked to seester for a while. They had a crappy layout and nowhere for people to go if they were in a wheelchair and I thought that was unfair. I even tried talking to someone about it but they said that they already talked to her about why they couldn't do anything. I ended up drinking at the show which was STUPID and got sick. The heat made me nauseous so I had to spend part of the show outside, but at least I could still hear. After the show I was bummed because of seeing Andrew and being confused as to why I felt so sad...turns out I miss the fool. He was a good friend and we got a long really well I think, and you know, the stuff he'd say about girls that were overweight really hurt my feelings, but I should have told him and worked it out instead of telling him and then being like, Okay bye. I basically had a very stupid overreacting girl moment and then because I felt so stupid about it, couldn't say I was sorry then, and now 3 years have past and I don't think he cares to hear about any stupid apology. But you know, that's life I guess. I even emailed him to tell him I was sorry but I don't think I'll hear back from him. I hope though that either way, he realizes that I wasn't judging him, I just thought if I didn't have him around it would make me feel better about myself. And I was wrong. So...enough of that. On to the awesome Gavin stuff.

So there I was sad and sick and walking away from the Gavin concert feeling like, "Dude I love Gav...I want a hug." So as we're all walking away I see him being bombarded by girls on his way to the bus, and he needed to get on and go back into the venue to do signings and stuff, but of course no one cares and they kept asking for pictures and autographs. I felt bad about it but I reached my hand out and caught his and asked if I could just have a quick hug. And he says, "Okay, but I'm sweaty..." (I thought, "Like I give a shit,I love you!) "...it's nice to see you again!" WHAT? Stop the presses. Gavin DeGraw remembers me from all those years ago????? Holy piss my pants, shut the hell up! My brother who I adore and who is awesomely so retarded says, "Dude, I can't believe you remember my sister, that's so awesome!" While punching him in the arm.

After hearing the recognition, I ran to the street and laughed like a 5 year old, and then did a jig. And you know, the guy is delicious looking but I have a feeling if he didn't sing and play so amazingly I wouldn't care about him at all, but the way his sings....oh my god!

Plus he was so happy on stage. It was his first show in so long and you could tell he was so happy. He kept saying how happy he was and how he missed us. Aww, Gav.

So anyway, me and James have been texting back and forth all week, and he's working more lately becuase he's the General Manager at Pizza Hut and had to fire another manager for stealing money so spending time with him is going to be difficult. I've started wondering if it's even worth it because I'm not sure what he's thinking so I asked today where he thought things were going. He didn't really have a response of course, you don't ask guys that. So I was like, "I just want to know if all were gonna do is text back and forth for the next year, because I don't want us to be wasting our time." He said he didn't think we were wasting our time so we shall see.

This weekend I'm not the party girl. I've drank way to much the past few weekends and it's making me sick. So tonight I'm going to bed early, tomorrow gonna clean and go to Rock Springs with my baby Mykah and his crew, and Sunday maybe go see a movie. I'm looking forward to it all!

Hope everyone else is doing well out there. Love you all!!!!
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